Messin' with Zlatan: A Farewell to Sweden at Euro 2012

Zlatan doin' what Zlatan do

As sports fans, we tend to develop connections to the players we watch.  I'm no different than others in that regard.  There are players that I love because they play for my favorite team (Tim Duncan, Michael Vick).  There are players that I love because I respect or am entertained by them (Steve Nash, Baron Davis).  There are players that I love for reasons even I can't quite put my finger on (Jozy Altidore, who will probably never be as good as I had hoped).  Then there are players I love for so many reasons I could write an over-long blog post about them!  AC Milan and Sweden striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic is one of those players.  As a 'Merican, and soccer fan, I tend to root for the U.S. or U.S. players.  Unfortunately, at Euro 2012 this presents a problem because there are no U.S teams or players involved.  This hasn't affected my enjoyment of the tournament at all.  Euro 2012 has been extremely entertaining from the beginning.  But sometimes sports feels a little hollow if you aren't rooting for someone.  Thus I found myself in the position of searching for a team to root for.

In a move that recalled the days of childhood and Chicago Bulls fandom, I decided to root for the team that had the player I like.  As it turned out, that team was Sweden.  And that player was Zlatan Ibrahimovic.  I've always had a fascination with Ibrahimovic.  It's a combination of many factors that has inspired this infatuation of mine.  First of all, as Bill Simmons often says, it's hard to underestimate the value of a great name.  And Zlatan Ibrahimovic is one hell of a great name.  It makes me think of a magician, or an Indiana Jones villain, perhaps an evil and vaguely European  demented surgeon of some sort.  Apparently,  Zlatan has trademarked the name 'Zlatan", and I couldn't be happier.  How many other famous Zlatans can there be in the world, after all?

The second thing, I think, is the man's appearance.  To be sure, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is an epic name, and the man himself lives up to it.  He is absolutely enormous.  Watching Sweden and England line up against each other before their match in the group stage, it was almost comical to what degree the 6'5" Ibrahimovic towered over the other players.  Zlatan simply stands out, no matter what he does.  When you turn on a Milan or a Sweden game, it's difficult for your eyes not to be drawn to the enormous man with the slick backed hair and ponytail jogging around on the field.  And the ponytail.  Oh, that ponytail.  I hope it never goes away.  I often describe it to my friends as a Die Hard villain ponytail, and that's exactly what I think it is.  Let's face it, if Ibrahimovic showed up in the next Die Hard film waving an AK-47 at Bruce Willis, no one would bat an eye.  Unless he was wearing his bright yellow Sweden jersey, which would frankly be awesome.

To be sure, Zlatan stands out.  And perhaps because of this, he has been subject to his fair share of criticsm.  He is a great player, yes. And he has played, and played well, for some of the top teams in Europe: Barcelona, Inter, AC Milan.  Just last season he scored a phenomenal 56 goals for Milan.  But Zlatan, for all his potential, has not reached the class of  a Messi or Ronaldo.  Which is all the better.  I don't need, or want, my heroes to be perfect.  It's another reason Michael Vick fascinates me as well.  That fact that Zlatan is so talented, and so physically impressive, yet at times struggles or seems uninspired, is part of what makes him so intriguing.

Ibrahimovic does at times appear to be going through the motions, particularly if he isn't in scoring position.   Have no doubt, Zlatan sees it as his goal to score goals when he is in the game, and he has done plenty of complaining in the past when his team hasn't put him in position to do just that, at least as he sees it.  During Euro 2012 in particular, Zlatan has seemed less than committed at times.  And the results of the matches reflected that.  As a result, Sweden will not be advancing past the group stage.  It's difficult to swallow, especially after a heartbreaking loss to England.  But because of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Sweden will at least be going home on a high note.  With no chance of advancing, and facing a France team that has won 22 consecutive matches internationally, the Swedish captain vowed to play with pride.  "We're playing for our honour against France," Ibrahimovic declared.  Well, the big man played like it, knocking home an absolute scorcher of a goal in the 54' that was vintage Ibrahimovic and arguably the goal of the tournament.  In the end, Sweden pulled out the win 2-0.

So tomorrow, the Euro 2012 tournament will go on, without Sweden. And it will continue to be incredibly entertaining, I have no doubt.  But the proceedings will be just a little bit drearier due to lack of Zlatan.  Rest easy, my sweet prince.